"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


 Send Revenge Crabs To A Friend!

It’s Not Illegal!

Though we’re constantly under fire for breaking the law in criminally indictable or civilly litigable, what we’re doing is totally legal, like we’ve always known and proved.

It’s Assault!

No it isn’t. At the very worst it’s malicious mischief, but even that’s a hard sell in court. Think of spray painting your name as vandalism, right? Think of this as something that doesn’t cause permanent damage, is easily removed, and little more than inconvenient and maybe embarrassing. This is more like writing your name in the snow, except that it’s all over a person. If there is little or no cost to undo the damage, what’s the problem, right? That’s what most any judge might probably agree.

It’s hazardous biological material!

No it isn’t. It’s no different than selling Sea Monkeys or an Ant Farm. It’s a small container with a small number of mostly un-hatched eggs inside, and really very few of them will hatch prior to arriving in your mail box. None of our crabs are sold directly from human feed chains, so there is no possibility of human DNA exchange even in the blood stream. They are all farm raised and fed animal product during cultivation. These do not constitute any bio-hazard!

You could ruin someone’s life!

Someone’s life has already been ruined, maybe you should have thought of that before you broke up with your soul mate while you were busy not getting back together. If anybody’s life was ruined, it was our customer’s, not yours. All we’re trying to do is afford our client’s the opportunity to level that playing field in hindsight. Someone’s life might be “damaged”, but we know someone’s life already has been, so this is just the smallest step towards settling the score.

Giving people crabs isn’t funny!

Actually it kind of is. I mean, if you actually think about it for a minute it really is pretty funny.

More Legal Concerns!

If you have more legal concerns that aren’t addressed here, please check our Q&A page or send us an email through the contact page. We’re not bad people or mean or anything, we just do this out of brotherly compassion, and we’re sorry if you feel it somehow lands on you as a victim. Whether you’re that “victim” or a past/future customer, we’re eager to hear from you if you think this is somehow too wrong or too right.