"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


 Send Revenge Crabs To A Friend!

Pricing Packages

We have several itchy options for you to consider. When you’re ready, just click “ADD TO CART” and follow the login instructions. You will be required to create a user account if you don’t already have one, but then you can pick your products, pick your quantities, proceed to checkout, and expect delivery within just a few days

BRONZE:

Single Crabs Colony – This colony may contain as many as 50 individual eggs in a single clutch. These will hatch within days of arrival and mature within the following week. This package include a single 4 ounce bottle of delousing shampoo for your own use, in case of accidental self-affliction, and is yours for only $99 plus shipping (plus sales tax in New York only.) ORDER NOW!

SILVER:

Three Crabs Colonies Set – Use the first one today and freeze the leftovers for up to 180-days, or use all three right away. It’s perfect if you have three victims in mind, or if you really want to carpet bomb that bomb carpet with a triple-dippy dose of chiggers. Make your empty threat a “triple threat”, or take advantage of volume pricing to share an order with your buddies who may want an affordable way to get this action in on that action. Ships complete with detailed instructions, three four-ounce bottles of delousing shampoo for your own use, in case of accidental self-affliction (or for your sale as “the antidote”), and all for the deep discounted price of $219 plus shipping (plus sales tax in New York only.) ORDER NOW!

GOLD:

NEW! We now are able to offer a limited supply of Shampoo-Resistant Crabs! These guys can still be killed using the traditional methods, but instead of two shampoo treatments and two washings of everything the victim owns, this particular crop can take as much as 10-days to kill off, even by the most diligent shampooing scrubber. We’ve bred them specially in our lab, and we are glad, proud and confident in our ability to guarantee that anything but a 100% coverage of delousing solution will simply not kill them off. Ships with detailed instructions, one 10-ounce bottle of delousing shampoo (in case you accidentally get some on yourself,) and all yours for the low cost of just $298 plus shipping (plus sales tax in New York only.) ORDER NOW!

SHIPPING OPTIONS:

• Same Day Service with Overnight Shipping – Add $59 to your order
• Next Day Service with 3-Day Shipping – Add $29 to your order
• Standard Shipping – Just $4.99 per order, regardless of quantity!

PAYMENT OPTIONS:

We currently accept Visa, MasterCard, Discover and PayPal. Sorry, but no COD, checks or Amex accepted at this time.