"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


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Crabs Club

If you love your lovers as much as you love hating them when they leave you, you may have found a commiserate step-brother in RevengeCrabs.com. We can’t help you engineer a space shuttle, rig an election or juice a Chinese Olympic athlete (though we’ve had sex with more than our fair share of them.)

If this page hasn’t offended you so far, then it’s obvious you’re our kind of bastard, and we’d be bigger bastards if we didn’t repay your kindness with some sort of windfall, so welcome to our world; here it is: you get a bulk discount.

If you want to lavish your love upon your exes in ways you can’t personally appreciate, forget about flowers, chocolates, and secret-admirer forget-me-nots the court will quickly restrict you from. Think laterally, my friend, and remember the unforgettable burn that is greater than love; and by that of course I mean crabs.

If you already know you’re going to be a repeat buyer, don’t fight the system, but embrace it. You didn’t make this world, you just live in it. You’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut to move your butt, right?

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There’s no cost to join, just that you have to take a vow to hate your mates for as long as you are able and capable.

Use our regular signup page, but enter the promotional code IM4ZSTDnVD when completing your order and you’ll automatically be entered into our terrible, ugly, upsetting club of misogyny and/or mispenisy.

And thanks for thinking of RevengeCrabs.com for all your revenge and/or crabs needs!