"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


 Send Revenge Crabs To A Friend!

Disclaimer

If you’re down, then we’re down, and if your ex is even more down than that still, then we’re that much more down yet further. But if you’re clowning, we’ve got the floppier shoes, and if you’ve got a chain gang, then we’re totally just yanking your chain. We cool?

If you’re legit

Then we’re only kind of kidding around, you know, like half-joking. Like when your buddy makes some veiled gay jokes, even though you know he’d be way serious if you were. That’s how serious we are about this. We want to see you be real, then we’ll be real (and ship you out the crabs) right away. We don’t need a couple beers a back rub, we just need to know you want it the way we kind of do. Some cash and a verifiable address, we might be serious, but we might still be joking, ha ha, you know?

If you’re clowning around

Then we’re totally clowning you too. You got so punk’d just now, beeyatch! HA! Nailed you, you joking joker. We weren’t really selling crabs to put in your ex-girlfriend’s hair, that’s crazy! But seriously.

If you’re the cops

Cops are dicks, and that’s just that. You’re a cop, you know you’re a dick. You know you manipulate facts to ensure convictions, and that you say whatever you feel like to make people look guilty even if a jury would disagree (without your lies). So with that said, if you’re the fuzz, we’re super joking and junk. This isn’t any more real than your latest testimony. Level with yourself if you won’t with us; we both know you lied through your mafia-capped teeth.

If you got crabs

Then you didn’t get them from us, even if they are shampoo resistant. That wasn’t us, it’s just a string of bad luck about as long as your string of infidelity (or that of your mate, mate.) Best wishes, best of luck, and you’d best get that looked at, mate.

If you got AIDS from crabs

If you think that’s the case, then this site, our products, and our whole company and philosophy is for entertainment purposes only. Just jokes, lad, nothing more. This site’s then probably less real than Jesus, or more, but either way, you know, doesn’t matter because you won’t see salvation until the second coming, if you catch my meaning brother.