"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


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Revenge Crabs Testimonials

Read some of the countless words of praise we are sent week by week. Who knows, one of them might just ring true to your situation!

If you are a shaver, but still don’t trust your lover, consider this:

“I’m a shaver so I never thought I’d get crabs. My ex still seeded my bed, and he got me good because my other boyfriend caught them instead of me. I was so embarrassed.” Jessica R. –Hilldale, CA

If you savor revenge with a flavor, consider this:

“When the scratchies first came I thought it was because I been slumming, but then I know its because my girls old man is a cop and he tracked me, so she doused my car with crabs. I’d be mad but that was some crazy payback.” Tyler D. – Toronto, Ontario

If you have workers in your office who are bigger whores than Jabba the Vagina, consider this:

“I wasn’t sure if my boyfriend was cheating on me, so I bought some crabs and gave put them on him one night after sex. Sure enough, less than a week later [NAME REDACTED] from my office couldn’t hardly sit for five minutes with all the itching she had. Thanks Revenge Crabs, you confirmed my suspicions!” Haley Y. – Chicago, IL

If you’ve been lied to by a married/attached guy and you’re ready to “give it back”, consider this:

“I was once a whimpering house mouse of a housewife, but when my exciting (though less than wealthy) husband continued his all-night parties and attending of raves, I knew something might be up. I peppered his boxer-briefs with crabs, and even though he never said anything about the ungodly itching we both suffered, we did get a ton of hang up calls in the weeks that followed, and he started hitting me up for his party money again. Thanks Revenge Crabs, if it wasn’t for you guys and all your crabs I’d still have to wonder what’s going on, and he wouldn’t have had to find a whole new batch of pigeons to run around with.” Alley R. – Columbus, OH

If you’re just generally kind of a dick and love sinister revenge, consider this:

“So dude, check this out, I was in my senior year here at the University of Alberta, go pandas!, when I met this hot young philly from Phi Beta. We had a laugh and whatever but next week she’s all barking up the bitch-trunk of my buddy Cody. Well that’s not cool with me, so I told her I loved her, that I wanted to get serious with her, and had her back for one last night together. I sprinkled the crabs all over my bed before she came over, then scrubbed everything I own, junk included, after she left. I think I had the last laugh even before I didn’t call her back. You know? So awesome. I love this. Woo-hoo!” Zachary, W, Edmonton, Alberta