"Midget" is the new "Nigger" and Other Cultural Sensitivity Seminars


 Send Revenge Crabs To A Friend!

Who We Are

We used to have a really long page about who we are and how we do business but our attorney never liked it and everybody on the site still complained about it, and then we hired on a full-time legal firm, and they said it had to go, so we put this page up instead. The lawyers say it’s perfect now because it doesn’t say anything too specific about us, and the readers don’t say anything negative because we made it all kinds of stooped in ambiguity like hell, even if you’re trying to contact us, so whatever, it works.

Let’s wrap it up by just saying that we’re a collection of professional guys who all attend a well-known university in the northeast. If you dig into our domain and hosting stuff you’ll figure out what school it is, but you won’t be able to prove it, so who cares. That’s nothing to do with any whatever to who cares shut up? [not an actual question, but go ahead and just try answering it]

Couple years ago I had some itching that I wasn’t stupid enough to tell anybody about. There was this Anika from a “nearby house” that “came” over sometimes, and I knew that’s where the itch was all from. She was hot, yes, but so hot she left me burning, and not just for more, but for less… too many commas in my sentence? They’re all justified, so attribute that to the university I attended at costs tremendous to both my indebtedness and groinal regret.

Before I got around to admitting how itchy she made my scratchies, I had already told everybody (maybe a half dozen of my brothers) how awesome she was at goblin and rockin’ the nuts and Kokov.

By the time I could get a dollop of ointment onto my pubus of greatest inflammatoirarius (read your latin, it’s almost right) I had two brothers in the same final throes of prickly screaming chigger nibbling enraged at the hands of that same bitch-clutch.

We vowed two things that day;

• First we said, “Never again will we let our pride get in the way of us knowing which pie is packing the fire; bros before hoes.”
• Second we said that if we have to have the crabs, to hell with whole damn lot of them, all them biznatcheeses can have a couple waves of crabs themselves too.

And it’s been an amazing journey for us ever since then. My third buddy (we call him that by order of infection. She was pretty drunk, he wasn’t her thing, it still happened, he’s now buddy-3) is a biology major, so he took it on himself to setup a habitat for those gross, creepy little purple bastards. He has a weird cage set up that looks like a cross between a nail brush and sick vajayjay, and the wiggly squigglies seem to love it.